When Life Gives You 100 Sparkling Wines… Protect Your Teeth

There are glamorous parts of the wine world: candlelit tastings in Burgundy, clinking flutes of vintage Champagne on a rooftop, and swirling a glass while looking very serious in front of an audience. And then there are the other parts.

Like being handed a line-up of 100 entry-level sparkling wines, all with one thing in common: searing acidity that could strip paint off a fence or, in my case, the enamel off my teeth.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Acidity is the lifeblood of sparkling wine. It’s what gives bubbles their freshness, lift, and that zippy character we all enjoy with oysters. But tasting 100 in a row is less like a joyful aperitif and more like an extreme sport. By glass number 25, your palate feels like it’s been through a car wash. By number 50, your teeth are whispering, “Why do you hate us?” And by number 100, you’re wondering if you can expense a dental appointment under “professional wine research.”

The funny part? Each wine demands the same thoughtful attention: sniff, sip, spit (most of the time), jot down notes like “citrus” or “green apple” — even though by the end, everything tastes like acidic lemon water on steroids.

Still, there’s a certain satisfaction in surviving such a marathon. It’s a rite of passage that reminds us wine isn’t always about glamour. Sometimes, it’s about endurance, enamel sacrifice, and the hope that your next glass is something aged, oaked, and mercifully smooth.

So next time you raise a glass of bubbles, spare a thought for the tasters. Behind every sip of fresh, zingy fizz is someone who’s already sacrificed their smile for your pleasure.

Cheers — and pass the flouride

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